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Express yourself clearly and confidently. Enhance your personal relationships. Improve your work environment or increase your chances of landing that new job. Eliminate grudges and hurt feelings. Reduce conflict.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Here’s how you can quickly and easily communicate more confidently and effectively and become a better listener simply by getting out of your own head, not getting defensive, jumping to conclusions or making assumptions

I did it and I know you can too!

Of course, you want to communicate more clearly and confidently, say what you really mean to say and accurately hear what others are saying. But you’ve tried so many times before, read other books and taken other courses and you still struggle with getting your message across to the others as well as completely understanding where the other person is coming from.

“I know you think you understand what I said. But I don’t think you understand that what I said is not what I meant.”

Does that sound familiar?

You hear what you want to hear. You hear what you expect to hear.

What others hear is not always what came out of your mouth.

What came out of your mouth is not always what you planned to say.

It’s no wonder there are so many problems and conflicts happening between people because of miscommunication.

To communication clearly you need to get out of your own head and focus your attention and energy on the conversation and on the other person.

You need to be present in the here-and-now. This can’t happen when you are:

The bottom line is that you cannot be listening to yourself and to someone else at the same time. Similarly, you cannot be speaking to someone else and talking to yourself in your head at the same time either.

In addition to getting out of our own heads, we also need to stay out of the other person’s head and not try to figure out what they are:

This book focuses on practical, concrete and no-nonsense skills and information that are applicable to anyone in any situation where communication is taking place.

It contains real life examples from both my personal and professional life and throughout the book there are self-reflection questions, checklists and questionnaires for you to complete. These are aimed at helping you apply the information and skills in the book to your own life and to increase your awareness of your own communication skills, both now and how you hope they will be.

My wish is that you too can quiet the chattering in your head and be able to truly concentrate and pay attention in your conversations with others. When you are able to do this – everything becomes a lot easier.

There is less conflict, hurt feelings, confusion, grudges, misinterpretation, mind-reading, guessing and showing up at the wrong time or wrong place with the wrong item!

I know from my personal experience and from working with clients for over a decade that it is truly beneficial to be able to clearly and easily communicate your thoughts, feelings and needs to others. In the beginning it may take more time, but the outcome is well worth the effort.

In the past, I used to have whole conversations in my head without ever even involving the other person. It was exhausting.

Communicating clearly has made my whole life a whole lot easier. I’m not wasting so much time yapping in my head trying to over-analyze and control all aspects of the conversation or trying to guess what is happening without any input from the other person.

I want you to also experience this freedom. To know what it is like to have clear, easy and respectful conversations with others.

And I know that you can. Why? Because I have put everything I’ve learned about communication and how to get out of your own head in this one book, “If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively”. It can all be yours today.

And it will work for you too…

I know this, because it has worked for hundreds of people just like you. I promise you your situation is not unique. And more importantly – your situation is NOT hopeless.

As a therapist and educator, my business is making sure clients have the necessary life skills to reach their goals. One of those skills is effective communication. Whether you're afraid to speak up and are too passive or blow up easily and are too aggressive, you'll learn the basics from this book. The exercises are straightforward and on target and the book is written in a way that makes you want to go out and try out Small's ideas. An excellent primer on communication!  

Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed., www.normaleating.com

Give yourself a gift today. Begin the process of communicating clearly and effectively, make your conversations work for you and never be accused of not listening again….

“If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively” can help you improve your communication starting today. Discover how to…

• Change the negative self-talk that is distracting you from focusing
• Be more confident when meeting new people
• Demonstrate to others that you are actively listening
• Say No when you really want to
• Ask for what you want
• Avoid being a mind-reader
• Effectively use questions to gather information and open up a conversation
  
• Speak clearly and concisely
•  Ask for as well as give feedback to ensure everyone is on the same page
• Avoid game-playing and guilt trips
• Know that you can confidently deal with whatever situation arrives when talking with anyone…

Imagine how it would feel to be confident, assured and communicate clearly in all your relationships….

Sounds too good to be true?

Well it isn’t if you have the right skills and tools. And that is what you will find in this book – concrete, practical, easy-to-apply information that you can begin to apply immediately to make a difference in you life.

Are you ready to have your life changed forever?

If you have ever wanted help to communicate more clearly and avoid the frustrations caused by mis-communication, this 129-page book is jam-packed with the information you’ve been craving. It is in an easy-to-read format with specific steps on how to streamline your conversations and remove any roadblocks.

Can I make you a promise? You will literally change the way you think, talk and interact with others. You’ll discover valuable, no-nonsense tips and techniques that you can easily apply immediately in all areas of your life.

If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively includes:

• What helps and what hinders communication
• A 6-step model for changing your self-talk and quieting the chatter in your head
•  Practical tips for preventing your self-talk or the other person’s self-talk from interfering with your conversation
• The 3 building blocks to effective communication – non-verbal communication, active listening skills and how to clearly send your message
•  Non-verbal skills to help enhance your communication
• 17 tips for improving your active listening skills
•  How to not be a poor listener
• 15 tips for sending your message effectively
•  How to overcome the roadblocks to communication
• Tips for communicating assertively
• 12 signs that you are not listening, 12 signs you are not communicating clearly and 12 signs you are not assertive. Check to see if any of these sound familiar.
• Checklists and self-reflection questions to help you immediately apply this concrete and practical information to your own life

Table of Contents

To read an excerpt from "If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively". 

Purchase E-book $20.00	Purchase paperback $25.00

Or send a cheque made payable to Barbara Small to 2727 Scott Street, Victoria, BC  V8R 4J3
 
Copies are also available from Amazon.com and Amazon.ca.

You can also contact Barb at (250) 361-3439 or email barbsmall@shaw.ca to make other arrangements for purchasing a copy of this book or to discuss discounts for bulk orders.

Counsellors, coaches and instructors:
This book includes concrete, practical tips, self-reflection questions, checklists and questionnaires. It is ideal for personal development groups or classes. Effective communication skills are important in all our relationships, both personal and professional.