#5 Self-Help/Self-Esteem Best-Seller on Amazon.com

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Here’s How You Can Quickly and Easily Communicate More Confidently, Stop Being a “People-Pleaser" and Break Free From Toxic Relationships– Even If You’ve Never Been Able to Before.

I did it and I know you can too! Read my story below.

Of course, you want to be more assertive and confident and speak up for yourself. But you’ve tried so many times before, read so many other books and taken so many courses that you don’t know if its ever going to happen.

That’s where I come in. My name is Barbara Small. I am a counsellor, life coach and ex-people pleaser.

See if this sounds familiar?

I spent most of my life being passive, shy and self-conscious. I grew up with a passive-aggressive mom (she was great at guilt trips and mixed messages) and a passive father (who was always away working).

I learned to be passive and focused on trying to fix conflicts and make everything better for everyone else but me. I sure didn’t want to rock the boat. I learned that it was better to agree with the other person then to have a different opinion. I also learned to swallow my feelings and needs rather than express them.

I became a compulsive overeater for 20 years because it helped me to stuff my feelings and ignore my needs. In my adolescence and early adulthood I tried being passive-aggressive - pouting, sarcasm and feeling sorry for myself were my tools of choice.

It worked with some people, but then I ended up with friends who confronted me and didn’t let me get away with this type of behavior. They said, “Yes, we know you’re pouting and we’re not coming to make it better. If you have something to talk to us about you need to come to us directly”. Gee, it seemed to work for my mom, I don’t see why it didn’t worked for me.

Since then I have become more and more assertive.

• I learned how to speak up for myself without focusing solely on how the other person might respond. I knew I now had the skills and trust in myself to respond as needed

• If someone criticized me I realized it was just their opinion, it wasn’t necessarily the truth

• I was able to say "No" without feeling guilty

• I discovered that the world did not revolve around me and I was not responsible for what everyone else did or felt

• I stopped giving endless excuses for my decisions

• I recognized that if I was in a situation that I didn’t want to be in, I was the one responsible for me being there

• I could express my feelings and ask for what I want without always worrying about how the other person would take it

My wish is that you too feel more confident, trust yourself more and communicate assertively. I know from my personal experience and from working with clients for over a decade that it is absolutely possible to make these changes. It can be challenging at times, but the outcome is well worth the effort.

Communicating assertively has become a natural part of who I am and I know the same can happen for you. Why? Because I have put everything I’ve learned about how to be assertive in this one best-selling book, “What About Me, What Do I Want? Becoming Assertive”. It took me years to uncover it, but it can all be yours today. You just need to do one thing…

 

And it can work for you too…

I know this, because it has worked for hundreds of people just like you. However, I don’t expect you to believe me until you see even more proof.

Don’t just take my word for it – check out these real-life examples…

"I am learning a new way, a better way, to communicate with family, friends, co-workers... This new way of communicating has given me an inner sense of freedom and peace I've never had before. It takes work, but every step I take makes the next one easier and every step leads me to healthier relationships and a healthier me.  I have found it so empowering, I've bought a book for all my friends!! The wisdom in this book is simple, down to earth and realistic; it makes sense, feels right and most importantly WORKS! Thank you Barb for giving me tools that I can use to make a difference in my life. What freedom!"  

Glendora Scarfone., Victoria, BC

I promise your situation is not unique. And more importantly – your situation is NOT hopeless.

"This book provides "the what", "the why" and more importantly the "how to" in the pursuit of effective assertiveness. The practical tools provided, make the insightful knowledge come alive and work for me in the real world. This book is presented in a very real and honest environment which I can relate to. The information is clear, orderly and concise, which enhances learning and understanding in a very practical sense. Having these new tools at my finger tips is helping me to become more effectively assertive".

Jacquie Farris, RN, Volunteer Support Group Facilitator, Victoria, BC

"After I opened the bubble envelope, I peaked inside the book. I thought I'd just have a quick browse through. But I ended up reading right through it. I couldn't put it down after I started reading. I think you did a great job. I thoroughly enjoyed your writing, its contents and its arrangements... your examples with words and phrases combined with full conversations, clearly and effectively shows how to communicate with purpose, tone and structure for obtaining favorable results. So, although I feel that I am more assertive than I used to be, I have lots to learn and your book has given me the needed knowledge to 'becoming assertive'. When practiced properly, it also makes me feel good about myself. Your book has showed me the way. It has increased my awareness and understanding about the behaviour styles with myself and others."
Melinda Chau, Toronto, ON

Wouldn’t you agree that it’s crazy to think you’ll get different results if you keep doing the same thing over and over again? That’s why you need to try something different…

Give yourself a gift today and begin immediately to communicate assertively, say "Yes" when you really want to and stand up for yourself…

“What About Me, What Do I Want? Becoming Assertive” can help you be assertive starting today. Discover how to…

• Be more confident when meeting new people

• Increase your self-esteem and self-confidence

• Take time to ask yourself, “what about me, what do I want?

• Eliminate the fear of saying what you think, especially when it is different from what others think

• Stop feeling guilty when you express your feelings

• Say "No" when you really want to

• Ask for what you want

• No longer play the blame game

• Ensure that you receive the product or meal you actually ordered

• Not be the score keeper in your relationships

• Know that you can confidently deal with whatever situation arrives when talking with anyone

Imagine how it would feel to be confident and assured in all your relationships….

Remember – you only get only one life – you can continue to live your life being passive, shy and frustrated or you can make the most of this life NOW and start speaking up, being honest with yourself and others and asking for what you want.

Sounds too good to be true?

Well it isn’t if you have the right skills and tools.

Think about it. Being able to communicate assertively is the most powerful skill that you could ever have in order to create your ideal life.

Are you ready to have your life changed forever?

But don’t take my word for it, here’s what readers from all over the world are saying about this book:

"Barbara Small offers some great hands on practical ideas that have changed my outlook on life and helped me become a more confident communicator. I am getting more of what I want from my relationships and from life in general." Donna Boutilier

"There is a lot to say about being assertive. Barbara found a way to make it sound easy and possible, no matter how insecure you are. I loved reading her book. She has some great tips and after trying just a few of them, I just know she knows what she's talking about." 

Mireille J.A. Lepelblad-Ogbolu, http://www.feel-great-about-yourself.com

 

“I loved the book. Easy to read and to understand. You might be assertive right now and you don't know it. Every day we are assertive, be it saying "NO" to the lady at the department store, to the stranger at your front door selling you goods. It's as easy as just saying, "No thanks." It helped me realize assertive isn't being aggressive; it's the other person, who can't or won't hear you or won't accept you saying "NO" to them, that has the problem with your assertiveness. After reading this book you'll realize you can state what you want, and it's as easy as starting off with "NO thanks!"  Suzanna Temov, Australia

 

"Reading Barb's book was a valuable "booster shot" for me on the art and skill of assertiveness, allowing me to peel back another layer of the "onion" concerning my family of origin's communication patterns. Also the very next day I took the opportunity to set a boundary with an employer which reinforced the value of my time and work."   Diane Gilliland, Clinical Counsellor, Victoria, BC

This is your opportunity to truly change your life.

If you have ever wanted help feeling more confident and taking charge of your life, this 110-page best-selling book is jam-packed with the information you’ve been craving.

Can I make you a promise? You will literally change the way you think, talk and interact with others. You’ll discover valuable, no-nonsense tips and techniques that you can easily apply immediately in all areas of your life.

What About Me, What do I Want? Becoming Assertive includes:

• A detailed description of the 4 styles of communication – aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive and assertive and exercises to help you discover what style you use and why

• How you learn and keep yourself non-assertive. It’s literally all in your head.

• What every recovering people-pleaser needs to know

• How to overcoming your obstacles to being assertive – including worrying about everyone else's expectation and the fear of appearing selfish

• Why discovering that the “world did not revolve around me” changed my life

• Practical tips on how to be assertive, including dealing with criticism, letting go of control and consistently expressing our feelings, wants and opinions

• How saying Yes when you really want to say No can truly impact your life

• Checklists and self-reflection questions to help you immediately apply this concrete and practical information to your own life

Table of Contents

To read an excerpt from "What About Me, What Do I Want?" visit the Trafford Publishing website at www.trafford.com/05-1842.

Purchase e-book now $15.00		Purchase paperback copy now  $20.00

Or send a cheque made payable to Barbara Small to 2727 Scott Street, Victoria, BC  V8R 4J3

"What About Me, What Do I Want? Becoming Assertive" (paperback) is also available through Amazon.ca and Amazon.com.

Contact Barb at (250) 361-3439 or barbsmall@shaw.ca to make other arrangements for purchasing a copy of this book or to discuss discounts for bulk orders.

Counsellors, coaches and instructors:
This book includes practical tips, self-reflection questions, checklists and questionnaires. It is ideal for assertiveness training and personal development groups or classes, including employment skills, life skills, addiction recovery and building self-esteem. Read more...